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Leefstyl | Lifestyle > Gay > Artikels | Features

Uncle Angus says ...

Cobus Fourie - 2010-02-10

Our managing director is a devout workaholic; his wife quite pragmatic. He spends day and night at the office, so the dear children have to visit; they make a virtual appointment and there they are. I have workaholic tendencies as well and more than enough work to keep a clone and me busy. I thus see aforementioned children once in a while. Once a year is too much for moi, though, as they are completely impossible little brats. The boy is eight, the girl is twelve. The elder is way too wise for her years, while the younger one is about as obnoxious as a whole kindergarten in one. The children know they are personae non gratae in my office, so they’ll pop in just to be obnoxious. The visits are usually after normal business hours and I often wonder why I am still at the office ...

Little Miss Sunshine walks in and says, “Oom Angus sê dat dit nie reën in die Kaap en George nie omdat daar te veel gays is en hulle moet ophou sondig.” She says this with a kind of self-asserting, nonchalant tone, almost if she is trying to convince someone. I call her a drama queen.

So I sit there repressed and trying to keep my composure and start to ask questions. It happened at school, she says. I ask if it is one of the teachers. She says no. I ask if she heard it directly. She says no, one of her friends told her.

Okay, by this time I am still shocked and indignant and I don’t think people who have never suffered tacit and/or systematic discrimination can even begin to fathom what such a flippant statement does, even to someone on the wrong side of 25 (out of the closet for a decade) and the statement coming from a mere child.

So I think … I ask after a long pause if she doesn’t like any particular groups of people and she admits she despises “Germans”. I tell her it is illegal to discriminate. She asks what “discrimination” is! I just say it means one should treat others as you would like to be treated and that even though she might not like a certain group it is wrong to insult them for just being part of the group. No mention of the gay topic. I find it grossly inappropriate to discuss such issues with the MD’s children.

Now, I am admittedly overly-analytical and my pet psychologist agreed (years ago, long story), and I start thinking about motives. Is it deliberate? I find myself feeling utterly nauseated that in 2010 (yes, twenty ten) children talk such tripe on school grounds. It is self-evident that it originates from the parents. I find it strange, since it is a de rigueur private school catering for the very upper LSMs.

So as fate (which I incidentally do not believe in) would have it I see the immense damage caused by the heavy rains in Gauteng and surrounds on the news. To compare the destruction of the floods with the drought in the Cape is quite tragic. I wonder which is worse. Now if the poor people in the Cape are being punished for having inordinate gay population ratios I wonder if Gauteng is conversely, based on the same premise, blessed. Or is the punishment just the inverse of what is dished out in the Cape, although not supposedly uttered by the Potato Prophet?

The Potato Profit is quite the spiritual businessman these days. I recall a huge billboard next to the N1 in Midrand (the country’s busiest highway), which is a very expensive area for billboard advertising as the audience is about 200 000 per day. The ad read, “South Africa turn to God” and was visible for about three months, sponsored by Shalom Ministries, the ministry of Uncle Angus.

I noticed also how similar billboards started popping up next to the highways leading to OR Tambo International Airport – the busiest airport on the continent, so I assume it doesn’t come cheap either.

So, class, Uncle Angus says the Cape is being punished by drought for harbouring so many gay people, and my city is being flooded …

I wonder what Uncle Angus says about that.

Cobus Fourie